Outsmart Chaos 096: Expecting them to "Just Know"
Expectation and Reality
Stop Expecting Them to Just Know
Hinting isn’t communication. It’s self-sabotage in disguise.
A frustration bubbles up when someone close to us doesn’t get it.
They didn’t ask.
They didn’t notice.
They didn’t respond the way we hoped.
So we shut down. Or stew. Or rehearse emotional scripts that no one else is reading.
Here’s the problem:
We expect people to just know,
then
we punish them for missing what we never actually said.
The Myth of Mind Reading
Most relational chaos isn’t explosive. It’s subtle.
It’s in the space between what’s felt and what’s said.
We think dropping hints, sighing louder, or acting distant should be enough.
But it isn’t. And it never was.
You don’t build strong relationships with silent expectations.
You build them with courageous clarity.
Silence Is Not Strength
Staying quiet isn’t virtuous. It’s passive.
It avoids discomfort.
It shields vulnerability.
And it invites confusion.
The longer we withhold, the deeper the resentment.
What began as “I wish they noticed” turns into “they never care.”
Not because of reality—but because of a lack of clarity.
We stay silent to keep the peace—and lose the relationship instead.
Clarity Is Kindness
Relational strength means naming things. Even the messy things.
Especially the messy things.
“I felt overlooked when that happened.”
“I need some space right now.”
“I’m afraid of what this might mean for us.”
These aren’t signs of weakness. They’re acts of leadership—in your relationships.
Unspoken needs are unmet needs.
Strong relationships aren’t mind games. They’re built on honest communication.
Naming what’s unspoken is often the first brick in the Restoration Bridge.
Why We Stay Silent
We tell ourselves stories:
“I don’t want to seem needy.”
“If they truly cared, they’d know.”
“They’ll just get defensive if I bring it up.”
But silence doesn’t prevent damage—it delays and multiplies it.
How to Break the Pattern
Replace hinting with naming. Clarity saves time and trust.
Anchor your feedback in care. Direct doesn’t mean harsh.
Lead the conversation. Don’t wait for the perfect moment—create it.
Relational strength is about forgiving boldly and speaking bravely.
Reflection Prompt:
Where are you waiting for someone to “just know”?
What would change if you named what you’re feeling or needing—today?
This is so true and has daily applications!