Welcome to OutsmartChaos, the newsletter. We’re glad you’re here. In this newsletter, you will find:
A Thousand cuts
The Chorus
The Cave
Finding the Truth
Self-Reflection Questions
A Thousand cuts
In the quiet recesses of our minds, we find ourselves trapped in a relentless replay of hurtful remarks and cutting comments. These words, once spoken, continue to echo like a chorus of negativity.
How often does one comment, replayed repeatedly, become one thousand cuts that tear at our identity?
It's as if we've collected a thousand cuts, each remark sharpening the pain until it becomes overwhelming. This overwhelming pain becomes the foundation of how we respond to others, especially those who communicated the initial cutting statement.
A song of pain that requires us to continue singing.
But what if we could change this narrative?
What does a more honest, accurate story look like?
The Chorus
The impact of negative remarks can be profound.
They linger in our thoughts,
taunting us like a chorus of failure
casting shadows over our self-identity.
We replay repeatedly, each repetition like another cut, until the pain seems unbearable. It's a relentless cycle that leads to self-doubt.
We lose sight of the truth as we replay the message over and over
and over again.
But what is truth?
Where is it found?
The Cave
We must understand that hurtful remarks are often single statements, not the complete story, to break free of these cuts.
In Plato’s Republic, he mentions an allegory of the cave. In it, prisoners have been chained to the wall and only see shadows. These shadows are the only thing they’ve ever seen, so they have no clue that the shadows are fragments of reality.
Read more about Plato’s Cave
(full URL: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allegory_of_the_cave)
In the same way, we must understand that often, our thoughts are only fragments of reality…and these fragments do not give us the whole picture.
Our feelings often give us the most veiled part of the picture.
Finding the Truth
Most people don’t communicate with others with the intent to cause pain. Most people share comments to build relationships or drive towards a goal.
Important Side Note:
If someone intends to cause you pain, it’s a different situation. Be purposeful in understanding this intent, and guard yourself from these relationships. Developing healthy boundaries protects you from these types of individuals.
It’s essential to assess internally and externally validate what is said.
How?
As we review the pain in question, we can review our own reaction - in essence, understanding better who we are. This assessment of ourselves will likely expose:
Emotions that cloud our perception, distorting the reality of these comments.
Our incorrect interpretation creates stories in our heads that can be different than what the bearer of the news intended.
Past hurt triggers painful memories in even the most innocent situations, transporting us back to the pain that has long passed.
We’ll soon see that most of our hurt is internally created. After exploring our pain, we’ll learn about ourselves and places to grow.
We find ourselves better.
You’ll find that your cuts are fewer than they feel, perhaps not even existing.
Self Reflection Questions
To fully understand and expose these shadows and reduce the thousand voices back down to one, and maybe even zero, these questions might help:
What did the other person say, and what am I adding to the message?
Is my emotional reaction that of an infant, adolescent, teenager, or adult? What does that suggest to me about my past hurts?
How have I responded in the past to similar situations?
With my ideal mentor in mind, what counsel would they give me?
If I said the same thing to someone else, what would my intentions be?
At Outsmart Chaos, we believe that in the Face of Chaos, Confident Courage lights the Path to Opportunity. We’re dedicated to helping you find your way to the most significant opportunities in your life, career, and leadership.
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