Outsmart Chaos 102: Trust
The hidden connection to unlock chaos
Chaos doesn’t just come from complexity.
It expands in the absence of trust.
When people are unsure whose interests are being protected, even minor disruptions can become disorienting.
Why Chaos Feeds on Uncertainty
In John Gottman’s research on relationships, he defines trust as this:
“Trust is the belief that the other has your best interest in mind.”
It’s simple. Profound. And deeply applicable to leadership and connection.
In chaotic environments—such as organizational change, shifting priorities, or personal conflict—people seek anchors. And often, the most powerful anchor is this question:
“Can I trust the people around me to care about me, not just the outcome?”
When that answer is unclear, chaos expands. When that answer is no, chaos takes root.
The Trust Check
So here’s the more personal question:
Whose best interest are you holding in mind—today, in your decisions, your meetings, your leadership?
If the honest answer is “mostly mine,” it’s worth paying attention.
Not with shame. With awareness.
Trust is built not just on integrity, but on intentional consideration of others.
When people sense that your actions include them, they feel more at ease.
When they suspect otherwise, tension grows fast.
Trust is powerful. It is also fast. It can be lost quickly. Trust is also reciprocal. If you give trust, it will be given back to you. Delegation is a result of this trust.
Stephen Covey
As Covey’s quote suggests, trust is a powerful part of every relationship. If lost, this can introduce a new variable and a new source of chaos into the environment, posing a challenge to address.
A Real Example
Several years ago, I reported to a new leader who had been brought into the organization. In one of our first conversations, he said plainly that he’d accepted the job for the title. He noted the pay cut he had taken and shared how this role would look great on his resume.
That early moment told me everything.
Over the next few months, it became increasingly clear: his energy wasn’t focused on solving organizational problems or building a strong team—it was on curating an image. Trust didn’t just fail to grow; it never had a chance to take root.
Chaos wasn’t just external at that point—it became cultural.
How to Build Trust in Chaos
If you want to lead in chaos, build trust with precision:
Be Transparent with Purpose
→ “Here’s what I’m thinking—and why.”
Leaders often share the what but forget the why. Let people see how your decisions consider them.
Signal Your Intent
→ “I want what’s best for us—not just what’s easiest for me.”
It’s rare to hear that out loud. But it realigns expectations instantly.
Hold the Long Game
→ Chaos tempts you to cut corners. But real trust is built through consistency over time. Stay committed to the relationship, even when short-term tensions arise.
Ask the Mirror Question
→ “Whose best interest am I acting in right now?”
Ask it before making decisions. Before hard conversations. Before you respond in the moment.
Final Thought
Chaos will always create uncertainty.
But mistrust turns uncertainty into fear.
If you want to lead through chaos, build trust deliberately.
And if you want to build trust, start by widening your scope of care.
Trust begins the moment your decisions include someone else’s good—alongside your own.
And that’s the kind of leadership people will follow through any storm.
Reflection Questions
Where is trust weakest in your current environment?
Who needs to hear you say, ‘I’ve got your best interest in mind’?
Very profound and oh, so true! If our leaders, or partners, show that they are trustworthy and we see that they have other's welfare in mind, while directing us to a goal, it is so much easier to follow, (or want to be invested in the relationship.) Thank you for the insight and the accountability.