Outsmart Chaos 103: The Frog
Find the Frog. Feed Delicacies to the team.
Find the Frog. Feed the Team.
Leadership is not about eating the frog yourself. It’s about recognizing the frog in the room—and finding the person who sees it as a delicacy.
A Story from the Desk
A few weeks ago, a colleague and I were reviewing the tasks on our plates—some of which were particularly difficult, thorny, or just plain uncomfortable. As we compared notes, one of us brought up Mark Twain’s famous advice:
"If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first."
The conversation turned to leadership and how we can best serve others. Then came a better question:
“What if we had someone who considered frogs a delicacy?”
That one question unlocked clarity. What we thought was just hard work was misplaced ownership. The most challenging task on my list was something I needed to place, not carry. And the friction that was draining me? It energized someone else entirely.
Twain was right. Eat the biggest frog first. But if you’re leading, the first step is knowing whose frog it is to eat.
Leadership isn’t about eating the frog yourself. It’s about recognizing the frog in the room—and finding the person who sees it as a delicacy.
Every Room Has a Frog
“You can’t lead what you’re not willing to name.”
Every team, every meeting, every project has a frog—the high-friction, high-value task everyone silently avoids. Maybe it’s initiating a challenging conversation, owning a tough decision, or leading through ambiguity. Leadership begins by calling it what it is.
The first act of leadership isn’t doing—it’s naming.
Stop Eating Every Frog
If you’re always the one eating the frog, you’re not leading. You’re hoarding.
Trying to do it all doesn’t make you essential. It makes you a bottleneck. Leadership is not martyrdom. The moment you feel indispensable, you might be limiting your team’s growth instead of enabling it.
Step back. Let others step in. Leadership that scales requires space.
Find the Person Who Craves It
The frog is friction. To the right person, it’s fuel.
Everyone’s wired differently. What drains one team member energizes another. Great leaders know their people well enough to match challenge to capacity.
Assigning discomfort isn’t about fairness—it’s about fit. Give someone a frog that fuels them, and you unlock engagement.
Strategic Delegation Is a Skill
Placing the frog well can be harder than eating it.
Delegation is not dumping—it’s discerning. The right frog, at the wrong time or to the wrong person, creates resentment or chaos. But placed well, it catalyzes growth.
Know your people. Know your timing. Don’t just pass frogs. Place them.
Don’t Just Lead—Multiply
You don’t need heroes. You need heat-seekers for complex things.
High-performing teams aren’t built around a single savior. They’re built around shared discomfort. Leaders who build cultures where people run toward hard things create trust, momentum, and capacity.
Make the uncomfortable normal. Reward engagement, not avoidance.
The Frog Test of Leadership
Don’t ask who’s in charge. Ask who’s willing to eat the frog—and why.
Leadership isn’t about personal output. It’s about orchestration.
The test of leadership isn’t just how well you perform. It’s how well you place discomfort—and how courageously your team steps up.
Every room has a frog. Great leaders don’t eat them all. They find the frog, place it wisely, and let the team grow stronger by facing it.