Validation
Someone else's praises may not be what you need.
Welcome to OutsmartChaos, the newsletter. We’re glad you’re here. In this newsletter, you will find:
The Essence of Validation
Embracing History and Chaos
The Blueprint for Self-Believe and Adaptability
The Journey to Self-Validation
Self Reflection Questions
Your confidence and courage are driven by how you are validated.
It’s the likes,
the comments,
and the number of people who have seen your post.
You somehow feel that your worth is defined by the number of subscribers and people publicly praising your actions.
This external validation is a drug, and you are an addict.
So am I.
Let’s talk about how we can recover.
The Essence of Validation
If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it, and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.
-Marcus Aurelius
You want personal and professional fulfillment. That’s a fact and the goal of everyone, even the most selfless people we know.
Unlike fleeting assurance from external validation, self-validation is an enduring and self-generated source of empowerment. It’s about appreciating your worth, capabilities, and accomplishments independent of external affirmation. You must embrace your personal history, challenges, and inner strength. This is pivotal in your empowering journey.
Embracing History and Chaos
Who we are today is shaped by our past experiences. There’s a lesson in every circumstance and an opportunity to see who you are deep down.
Years ago, when I was 14, I wasn’t picked up from baseball practice after school. The practice field was between 5 and 10 miles from home, and I didn’t know how to get to where I needed to be. This was before cell phones and Google Maps. I was isolated and disoriented.
Difficult times in life are not just obstacles to be overcome but opportunities for personal growth. They allow us to tap into our inner strength and resilience, helping us become more self-reliant and confident. This process teaches us that our worth and abilities are not dependent on others.
My memory of the baseball practice experience wasn’t that of being stranded. It was about validating my ability. I had decided to figure out how to get home. And I nearly made it there before I was picked up (I had found a place to call for a ride). It was my own Huckleberry Finn adventure.
The Blueprint of Self-Belief and Adaptability
Who we are to ourselves matters more than just about anything. How we see ourselves affects how we respond to and see others.
Most of us have a view of ourselves that highlights the negative. After all - no one knows how much I fail more than myself.
Yet that’s not the full picture.
That’s the wrong picture altogether. It’s a caricature of ourselves that draws on all the parts that we don’t like.
And like a caricature, we need to be able to laugh at it, enjoy it for what it is, and see the real picture.
Our successes and strengths are what’s missing from the caricature and all too often from our minds.
And as a whole, they build self-belief. Tying our learnings from negative experiences into our success creates our life tapestry. This life tapestry shows our adaptability.
Confidence backed by self-belief and adaptability forms a powerful duo in our life's journey.
Self-belief motivates us to make bold decisions and take action with conviction
Adaptability allows us to navigate life’s inevitable changes and uncertainties.
This combination is crucial in developing a self-sustained form of confidence. It encourages us to trust our abilities and be flexible enough to adapt without relying on external validation.
Embracing this mindset transforms challenges into stepping stones, leading to personal growth and fulfillment.
The Journey to Self-Validation
The journey to self-validation is transformative. It builds a resilient confidence that is not swayed by external opinions. This intrinsic worth leads to a fulfilling life where confidence reflects our inner strength.
To begin this journey, ask yourself: What personal victories can I celebrate today that are not defined by others? Embrace these achievements as pillars of your self-worth.
Self Reflection Questions
How have the past moments when you've felt isolated or challenged contributed to your understanding of your inner strength and capabilities?
How can you practice recognizing and appreciating your worth and accomplishments without seeking external validation?
Reflect on a time when you felt validated by your actions rather than by the approval of others. How did this impact your sense of self and confidence?
Consider the "caricature" of yourself that you may present to the world. What qualities and strengths do this version overlook, and how can you integrate them into your self-image?
How can you apply the lessons from past experiences to construct a more resilient and self-reliant identity, transforming challenges into stepping stones for growth?
At Outsmart Chaos, we believe that in the Face of Chaos, Confident Courage lights the Path to Opportunity. We’re dedicated to helping you find your way to the most significant opportunities in your life, career, and leadership.
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