When it's time to Walk Away
When "Leaving it" is the right answer (Live, Leave, or Change - part IV)
Walking away might be the best choice. Or the worst.
Knowing When to Leave: How to Identify the Right Time to Walk Away
In our series on overcoming resistance, we've discussed how resistance can either help or hinder us, depending on the situation. This week, we're focusing on a critical question: When is it time to leave? Sometimes, the best action is to recognize when something is no longer working and walk away, but how do you know when that’s the right decision?
Resistance is anything that stands in the way of your goals. While some forms of resistance are worth confronting and changing, others must be left behind. The key is knowing how to assess the situation appropriately.
The Power of Honest Conversations
Several years ago, I worked at an organization where leadership changes created a toxic environment. Honest, open conversations were avoided, and attempts to improve the situation were resisted. Despite efforts to create positive change, it became clear that the organization needed to be more willing to engage in difficult but necessary discussions.
This situation taught me a valuable lesson: sometimes, leaving is the best option when others are unwilling to face challenges head-on.
One way to assess whether change is possible is to apply the acronym HOW:
H for Honest conversations
O for Open dialogue
W for Willingness to engage in the process
If a situation lacks these elements, it might be time to consider moving on.
When to Leave
Leaving is difficult, especially when fear plays a role. Running away from discomfort isn't the answer, but there are times when leaving is necessary for growth. Ask yourself these questions:
Is there a path forward? It may be time to move on if honest, open, and willing conversations aren’t happening.
Are you running away from fear or toward opportunity? Ensure you're leaving because it’s the right choice, not the easiest one.
Is staying preventing significant growth? Sometimes, a fresh start is the only way to make meaningful progress.
Covenant vs. Non-Covenant Commitments
One of the most important things to evaluate is the nature of your commitment. Covenantal commitments, such as marriage and family, require long-term dedication and should not be left lightly. They demand patience, work, and resilience, and the impact of leaving these commitments creates lasting pain. On the other hand, non-covenantal obligations, such as jobs or service contracts, don’t carry the same weight. These can often be left if they no longer serve you or align with your goals.
Knowing the difference between a covenantal and non-covenantal commitment is essential in deciding whether to leave or stay. If leaving won’t cause significant harm or disruption to others, and the situation isn't contributing to your well-being or goals, it’s worth considering.
Final Thoughts
Leaving may seem like the easiest path, but it's essential to make that choice thoughtfully. By understanding the nature of your commitment—whether a meaningful, long-term responsibility or something more temporary—you can make informed decisions that align with your goals. Remember, the goal isn’t just to escape discomfort but to create growth space.
Next time, we’ll tackle the challenge of change—often the most complex but rewarding path. Whether you live with resistance, leave it, or change it, the key is to take control so you can focus on what truly matters: moving forward with purpose and intention.
